


Riddle Me This

by silver_moon_howler



Series: Domestic Gotham because Why Not? [7]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Based on an Old Comic, Domestic Gotham, Fluff and Humor, Halloween, Jewelry, Mentioned Oswald Cobblepot, Minor Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, One Shot, Only in Gotham, Organized Crime, Riddles, Short One Shot, Sometimes its hard to find the perfect gift for your crime husband, Theft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:40:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26508361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_moon_howler/pseuds/silver_moon_howler
Summary: Somtimes Edward just wants someone who can answer his riddles for him
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: Domestic Gotham because Why Not? [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893412
Kudos: 48





	Riddle Me This

Hank tugged on the jewelry store's latch, the crow bar protested with each heave of Hank’s shoulder that pushed the deadlock up further. He paused, rubbing the sweat from his hand onto his pants, “Shit,” he uttered allowed, constantly vigilant for any nightcrawlers that might make an appearance. He doubted anyone would show, compared to the other supervillains that were stalking tonight-on Halloween the busiest night of the year for Gotham’s underworld-Hank was a little lamb surrounded by spit slicks, gnashing teeth wolves. Hank gave the door one last final shove and listened to the lock on the other side break, parts of metal fell to the floor. “Finally,” Hank sighed in relief, “God fucking damn it, this isn’t worth the effort.” He stepped carefully into the store, pulling a black ski mask over his scarred face. 

“Excuse me, sir,” a man called. Hank pulled back his crowbar above his head, trying to look as threatening as possible for a man no more than five feet. Hank’s mouth froze in a horrified sneer, his actions grinded to a stuttering help and the poor man began to grovel, “Riddler,” he breath. The Riddler imposed over Hank, glaring him down, “Yes..” his analytical eyes swiped over Hank, he considered the current situation with no more than a quirk of his head like something feline or inhumane, “And who exactly are you?” Hank dropped the crowbar, his hands shooting down to brush invisible lint specks from his pants, “My name..I apologise, I’m, my name, it is..Hank Berman, I used to work for Two-face before prison, he can allege for me, he’d tell you I would never have intruded on your territory if I had known.” The Riddler’s cold eyes flicked over to the jewelry store, he was searching for something, “I just have one question to ask you,” he growled. Hank whimpered, his hands wringing the poor fabric of his sweater. 

“The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?” Hank blinked, his heart was racing and still he looked up into the Riddler’s cold eyes. “I’m sorry,” Hank choked out. The Riddler was baring his teeth now in what must have supposed to been a friendly manner. The joy in his smile just didn’t seem to reach the rest of his face. “Answer the riddle,” the Riddler implored. Hank’s body nearly buckled under the relief, “All right, mister, let me think.” Hank had heard this riddle before, his aunt had gotten him a book during his time in prison. She claimed it was to help Hank, “Get off the drugs,” and there was a lack of vivid reading material in a community full of men who made money to spend it without remorse. “F-Fingerprints,” Hank stuttered. The Riddler grinned, with all of his face, “You’re absolutely right sir,” he enthused, “Here, please, I insist take my money.” He pulled out a green leather wallet it and began to flick out hundreds by the dozen. 

“Gee,” Hank stuttered, taking the offered cash, “I have no idea what to say.” The Riddler rolled his eyes, “I’d tell you to beat it before I change my mind and gut you like a pig, but it is your life and I’ll shall except it is your decision, whether it be your final, idiotic decision.” Hank leapt to his feet with a screech, taking off down the road.

“Now,” Edward mumbled, climbing into the jewelry store, “where are those cufflinks Oswald told me he wanted?”

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think Edward had forgotten about their anniversary until last minute, and was swinging by the jewelry store to find a gift that didn't look too thrown together so he wouldn't end up in the bottom of the harbor tomorrow. 
> 
> So I'm probably going to add more scenes, either in this series or add more chapters. I also might be doing a Gotham the TV show oneshot series. Any ships, characters or scenarios you want to see, leave a comment. Your kudos drives me to right.


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